


What an Impact

by stellennium



Series: bark-to-text [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, technically mpreg but not in the traditional sense i can't believe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 06:52:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5733772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellennium/pseuds/stellennium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toriel was only gone for an hour tops and Sans somehow gave birth on her kitchen floor in that time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What an Impact

**Author's Note:**

> i may have come up with the idea but curi is the one who said my ideas were Undertale spirit so you should blame her for enabling me

Every morning was like a ritual. Frisk would hit the snooze button on their alarm clock no less than five times before being coaxed into rolling out of bed by the smell of breakfast. They would hurriedly brush their teeth, get dressed, and slide into the kitchen just as Toriel set the table.

"Good morning, my child." She greeted every morning without fail. Today's breakfast was a hearty portion of scrambled eggs and a hash brown with a smiley face drawn on with ketchup. Frisk eagerly took a seat at the dining table and was ready to pour themselves a tall glass of milk when furry paws snatched the jug from their hands.

"???" They watched Toriel scrutinize the jug as if it were Asgore's face.

"Frisk, do not drink this!" she  exclaimed. "This milk is expired!"

Frisk squinted, reading the tiny printed numbers on the side, then glanced at the calendar. Today was indeed the milk's expiration date, but it smelled fine. They shrugged, not wanting to argue, and fetched the bottle of orange juice from the refrigerator as Toriel set the milk on the counter.

"I will have to fetch some milk today." She sighed. "I must simply stop buying two at a time, no matter how good of a deal it is! I will call Sans to watch over you while I am gone.

Frisk gave her a thumbs up. Satisfied, she went to the phone and dialed Sans' number. "Good morning Sans. I hope it is not too early, but I was wondering if you could watch over Frisk while I get groceries. Wonderful! I will see you soon."

As soon as she hung up, the doorbell rang. Toriel opened the door and giggled as Sans waved.

"hey. i heard you have a baby that needs sitting on." he joked with a wink.

"Thank you for being so prompt this morning, Sans." She chuckled. "I will be back soon, so please make yourself at home." She grabbed her purse, already loaded with her phone, wallet, and keys. As Sans took a seat at the dining table next to Frisk, she gave them both a kiss on the forehead before leaving.

"morning kid." Sans yawned, reaching over to ruffle Frisk' hair. "looks like i forgot my own breakfast. mind if i call papyrus over?"

Frisk tilted their head, sliding their half-eaten plate of eggs over to share.

"aww, that's sweet of you, but you should eat all of that. you still need to grow bigger. you're only _eggsactly_ as tall as me."  

Frisk shrugged and continued to devour breakfast while Sans sent a text to his brother.

"uh oh." Sans blurted once he received a response. "papyrus invited undyne over to make me breakfast too."

"Good luck." Frisk replied and began to shovel food faster. They grinned at him, cheeks full of eggs and potatoes. Sans groaned and watched as they swallowed his fleeting hopes of having an edible breakfast. He scanned the kitchen, hoping to find anything to tide his hunger before Papyrus and Undyne arrived and destroyed his insides.

"hey, is that milk?" he asked, immediately scrambling for it.

"It's expired."

"only by today, and it smells fine. 'sides, tori's going to the store to pick up more milk, right? she has to get rid of it, so i might as well _drain_ it for her."

They could hear the desperation in his voice and just shrugged. Taking their silence as an argument defeat,  Sans tipped the jug into his mouth and chugged. Frisk watched the milk level slowly drop as he drank, his sockets devoid of their normal pinprick of light. With his last gulp, he slammed the empty container back onto the counter. His bones seemed to rattle slightly.

"Sans?" Frisk inquired, pushing away from the table. The sweat pouring down Sans' face was worrying.

"i'm okay, kid." he coughed. The sound of a car shrieking to a halt cut off whatever they were going to say, followed by a loud nyeh heh heh.

"NYEH HEH HEH! REST ASSURED SANS, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL END YOUR HUNGER! AND I GUESS UNDYNE WILL HELP TOO." Papyrus announced from outside the house.

"Hey! Why am I added like an afterthought!?"

"you better answer the door before one of them breaks it down again." Sans suggested. Frisk shot him a worried look, but complied. They hurried to the door before either Undyne or Papyrus had a chance to knock. They opened the door and immediately smiled at the sight of their friends. Papyrus was in front, hand poised to knock, with Undyne and Alphys behind him.

"GOOD MORNING FRISK!" Papyrus enthusiastically greeted. " SANS IS HERE, RIGHT?" Frisk nodded, and pointed to the kitchen.

"Good!" Undyne exclaimed. "Hope you're real hungry, 'cause you're going to help us settle who's the better chef!"

"OOH YEESSSS!"

To Frisk's surprise, Mettaton in his EX form popped out from behind Alphys, microphone in one hand and a camcorder in the other. Napstablook hovered besides him, eyes downcast.

"oh no.... they weren't expecting us... maybe i should go..."

Frisk shook their head, giving Napstablook a kind smile, and gestured for everyone to come inside.

"Eh heh... sorry about all of this." Alphys apologized. "I tried to stop them but they just got carried away." Frisk simply patted her on the back in sympathy.

One by one, everyone filed into the kitchen, shuffling around to find a good place to watch and chattering amongst themselves.

"SO METTATON, ARE YOU HERE TO COMPETE TOO?"

"Oh heavens no darling, I'm only here to immortalize the memories. Sadly, my film crew couldn't make it out here early enough to get this on TV, but home video will do!"

"That's the spirit! If we put this thing on YouTube, then everyone will know that cooking with passion is the only way to go!"

"L--Let's not think that far ahead!"

"you're sans, right.... oh no... you don't look too good... oh no...."

"urk."

The entire kitchen was silent as everyone's eyes were now trained on Sans. He had one hand on the counter, barely keeping himself up, and another around his stomach. He tried to wave it off, but doubled over, knees clattering on the title.

"SANS! BROTHER! WHAT'S WRONG?" Papyrus gasped, immediately rushing to his brother's side. "NYEEHH!! YOU'RE OOZING!"

To everyone's horror, Sans' bones began to secrete a viscous white substance.

"N--No! L-Let go of him!" Alphys cried feebly. Undyne tried desperately to pry the brothers apart. Even Mettaton dropped his equipment on the table to help, but Papyrus was adamant in holding onto his brother. Napstablook hovered close to the ceiling when they noticed .

"...is that milk............." They stared at the empty container of milk, then at Sans, then back to the container. "oh... he drank it, didn't he... oooh....."

"The entire gallon." Frisk confirmed.

Napstablook and Mettaton looked at each other while everyone else puzzled over what it could possibly mean. Suddenly, Mettaton burst into uncontrollably laughter, grabbing his cousin over for support.

"Oh Blooky, I can't believe he just--"

Napstablook wiggled uncomfortably in his arms. "m--mettaton... the camera..."

"Oh, right!"

Mettaton straightened out, released them, and stretched his arms to reclaim his camcorder. He extended it over Undyne's head and focused the frame on Sans.

"What do you think you're doing!?" Undyne demanded, seizing the camcorder from him. "This is no time for that!"

"On the contrary--" Mettaton struggled to wrestle the camcorder back. He ended up wrapping her up in his arms several times before he was able to pluck it from her hands. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth!"

"the miracle of what now." Sans wheezed as he continued to ooze.

"SANS... YOU'RE PREGNANT!?"

"i'm not--"

"Hush darling! Papyrus, sweetie, help your brother onto his feet and keep him up."

Thoroughly confused, Papyrus did what Mettaton commanded. Sans' protests died down, finding the position less painful. The flow of slime began to lessen as it coalesced into a ball at his feet. It jiggled as it grew until the last drop fell from Sans' brow. Suddenly, it began to condense and take shape.

"I-I don't believe this..." Alphys mumbled in awe.

Between Sans' feet lay a newly born skeleton.

"IT'S SO... SO CUTE!" Papyrus cooed loudly, bending over to pick up the new addition to his family. The baby skeleton opened their sockets and proceeded to wail."DON'T CRY LITTLE ONE! I, YOUR UNCLE PAPYRUS, WILL RETURN YOU TO YOUR MOMMY! YOUR DADDY? TO SANS!"

He deposited the baby in Sans' arms, who was still too shell shocked to refuse. As Frisk and Alphys crowded around to marvel at this strange miracle, Undyne pulled herself out of Mettaton's arm trap to block the camcorder.

"What. The hell." She hissed quietly, jerking a finger at the skeleton family. Mettaton stopped recording and reeled his arms back to their normal length.

"skeletons don't give birth like other monsters do..." Napstablook explained, hovering between the two to placate their neighbor. "they don't have..."

"S--Shhh!" Alphys shushed, immediately clamping her palms over Frisk' ears.

Mettaton feigned a cough. "Anyway! When a skeleton gathers enough magic and calcium, they can just let it all go and it becomes a new baby skeleton, just as we've just seen!"

"How do you know about this?" Undyne inquired, raising a brow.

"oh... there was a skeleton.... he gave birth twice at the farm... he kept doing milk shots.... we had to ban him..."

That snapped Sans from his reverie.

"you've got to be _kidding_ me." he finally joked, grinning in spite of the situation. The baby in his arms cooed and giggled.

"AUGH! SANS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" Papyrus groaned. "YOUR BABY HAS PICKED UP YOUR AWFUL HABITS AND PUNS!"

"So let me get this straight." Undyne sighed. She had to pause to massage a vein bulging on her temple. "Sans chugged a gallon of milk and just... popped a baby out."

"So it seems..." Alphys concluded.

"That's kind of hardcore! Alphys! Can we do something like that!? It would make making babies so much less complicated than it needs to be!"

Alphys sputtered and turned bright red. Luckily for her, the sound of the front door swinging open provided her with a much needed escape from that conversation.

"Sans, Frisk, I am home!" Toriel called out. She chuckled lightly at the sight of so many shoes by the entrance. "I see everyone decided to come help out."

"Welcome back mom!" Frisk greeted, carefully maneuvering around to  the front. They looked back at the group and gestured with their head before turning the corner. On cue, everyone but Sans and Napstablook scrambled after them to help out. 

"so. you said a skeleton gave birth twice at your farm." Sans coughed, rocking his baby. It was a fate he seemed too resigned to fight.

"ohh... i don't remember much about him..." Napstablook said. "but he seemed really happy to have a baby... even happier to have another... he really liked playing with them... letting them pet the snails... i wonder what happened to them..."

"i wouldn't worry about it." Sans suddenly dismissed. "i hear one of those kids turned out to be a real _humerus_ guy."

"oh... do you know them..."

"real well. you could say i was _bone_ at your farm."

"oh..."

They were all taking forever to carry those groceries back.

"did you... come up with name yet... for the baby..."

"dunno. i was thinking of something, but naming a kid has a huge _impact_ on them when they grow up."

"oh..."

"yep."

"..."

"...i was thinking impact. saw my family tree once. pretty sure we had an uncle impact somewhere down the line."

"oh..."

Before the conversation went completely stale, Toriel entered the kitchen with a new gallon of milk.

"Oh, good morning Napstablook!" she cheerfully greeted. "If I had known you were--Sans is that a baby!?"

**Author's Note:**

> i don't want to write any more of this sin


End file.
